when i'm all alone, back in my quiet box, at night, i start to think.
this is the best time where i start to sort out my thoughts that has been bothering me.
with a silent listener always here with me, i'd try to figure out the best way to resolve things.
nothing will always turn out good, like what an economist would say, we often have to forego something in order to do another thing. there is no instance where we can obtain the best of both worlds.

like what my brother said, there is no me time anymore. its always studies time, assignment time, _____ time, ______ time etc. when was the last time i could sleep in early & wake up any time i want without even setting the alarm clock? everyday there is something i have to do, not i want to. everything is more like i have to do it or else.. & if i don't things would just keep piling up non-stop, suffocating me slowly. i seem relax, i know, people's been telling me that. but how can you merely judge a person's outward appearance? appearing calm & composed doesn't mean that i'm not panicking & feeling frustrated inside.

stop trying to figure me out. i'm not some science experiment or some project.

am very tired. 2 episodes of csi but i fell asleep when it was showing csi: new york (boring). csi: miami is the best (: i think its the weather. i'm eating lesser, feeling lethargic in midday and i can no longer stay up late without feeling sleepy.

i really wonder, what is God's purpose for me. seriously.
i just want to know & stop trying to figure it out.